This episode is about my journey, a journey that led me to understand how my inability to forgive myself was putting brakes on my life's growth and expansion.
Join me as I navigate through this personal journey, where I confront my negative self-beliefs, the ones that often made me interpret others' actions negatively. I'll share with you how these beliefs have been affecting my self-esteem, personal growth, and relationships. I'll also take you through an impactful coaching session that acted as the catalyst. But, the highlight is a brave step I took, a step towards self-forgiveness, a step that could inspire you to do the same. It's time for us, Struggleberries, to unleash the power of forgiveness and to experience the freedom it brings into our lives. Let's start this journey together.
@struggleberrycrunch
Teriyana:
You're listening to Struggleberry Crunch with your host, Teriyana. Hello Struggleberries. What have you been up to? How's your week? Have you been kind to yourself? Are you giving yourself grace? Regardless of the answer to those questions, i'm happy you're listening and I'm excited to come back to you again this week with my quick crumb of affirmation. And in this clip today, i want to talk about forgiving yourself.
Teriyana:
Now I know for some people, forgiveness is a touchy subject. I know it is for me but for some other people it comes easy. People can forgive left and right, like and give it out like it's candy. But for people like me, i've had to learn what true forgiveness can do for me and what it can do for others, and today I think that actually solidified for me. So the reason that I'm bringing this up right now is because I recently had a coaching session, and if you don't know what coaching is, definitely should check it out. But it basically helps guide you to a place that you didn't even know you needed to go, and that's what happened to me today. So when you start a session in coaching for me at least I tell my coach this is what I want to be coached on today And what I wanted to be coached on was my thought that no one liked me And I take everything personal, and we started investigating how much of that was true.
Teriyana:
It turned out that I make things true based off of how I show up for myself, and in the session it was interesting because, as we kept talking and getting more and more curious about why my brain was thinking that we focused on one specific example to help me pick apart my brain a little bit more. My example was because somebody didn't call me back meant that they didn't like me. I realized that I've done that before too, and that led to me holding onto the idea that if someone makes a mistake, they can't be forgiven. And I don't know how that idea, perspective, belief has floated with me for so long. But it just hit me today that I'm still learning how to forgive myself. And if I can't forgive myself, i don't know if me forgiving others is as truthful as I would like it to be sometimes, because I felt grudges in the past grudges against myself, grudges against others, grudges against God, the universe, because of how things turned out for me in the end, but I never took the time to ask myself myself if I choose full forgiveness, like if I truly let this go, what could this mean for me and the people involved? And it wasn't until I realized that that I started to think how Me not forgiving myself has led to so many different thoughts that keep me in the space that I am, that I don't want to be.
Teriyana:
I have so many ideas of why I can't be successful. I have so many memories of me starting things, quitting them and just feeling so ashamed and not giving myself grace that I even tried to begin with. I have so many memories of me hiding at home because I didn't like how my skin looked or my hair looked and not just letting myself be human, that everyone has bad days. I have so many memories of me not enjoying celebrations, events, traditions because I was too worried about how people were going to perceive me. I never forgive myself for any of that And even to this day I still have tallies against myself of things that I'm like why did you do that? I'm so angry with you, like holding myself hostage to my emotions and my thoughts, but no more.
Teriyana:
I think if you weren't around very forgiving people and you don't know what that feels like, it's very easy for someone to fall into all or nothing, thinking Like if you do this, then I'm completely done with you. If I don't put down the cheesecake, then I'm just giving up on my goals that I had for my fitness. If I don't show up to class today, i'm just going to drop the degree program. Not allowing ourselves to make mistakes is such a disservice to our growth. And then, once we do make the mistake and not forgive ourselves for it, we might as well just hand in the keys to our life's potential. You are human, i am human, we've all made mistakes, but we learn from them and we grow. And when you learn how to fully forgive yourself, you'll be able to fully forgive others and start over and move forward and realize that life is about the journey internally, externally and universally. From this day forward, i am going to forgive myself for everything the relationships that I've gotten into, that I wasn't very proud of, for not completing homework assignments to get a better grade in my classes, from not doing my best at work some days to missing out on celebrating the people that I love, to ignoring and shutting people out when I really needed somebody by my side. I forgive myself and I hold deep down that you forgive yourself to.
Teriyana:
Struggleberry, it all starts internally, and once we unpack your mind, we unpack your destiny. Let's start a forgiveness journey. It takes time, so I'm not forcing you, but I offer you the idea and the permission to start if you want to. So ask yourself, struggleberry what do you need to forgive yourself for? What do you need to forgive someone else for that you've done yourself before as well. What's holding you back from embracing this problem, finding a solution and taking action for real? this time, you're one of a kind struggleberry. Don't forget it And have a good week. Bye.